Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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