He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
