Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
