Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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