Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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