How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
