Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
dude. I can hear the air.
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