TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i came on her dog
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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