Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it glows. i had to have it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
