I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
