just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
