I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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