Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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