My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
