you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
