let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
