I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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