Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He literally asked permission to hit on me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize