I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
