On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
