So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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