im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
farters have to be the big spoon...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
