You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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