just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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