I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
