Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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