even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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