Where is the hickey?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
