that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
