Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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