I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
