Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
