He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
