pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize