well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
COCAINE IS GR8
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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