the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
