wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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