We're facebook friends in real life
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
