Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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