I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
