it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
only you would photoshop your dick
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This can only be settled by a dance off.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
