He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
