hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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