haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
