You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
