life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
where am i from again
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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