I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
