Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
