I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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