you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
