My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
