You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
