i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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