Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
