i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
