Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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