You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I want her autograph on my taint
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
sex in a hospital.. check
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
