We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
