I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
