How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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