every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
