why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
