Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
